Wed. November 09, 2005

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Things I'm sick of:
Things I'm sick of these days:
being winded
missing my husband
not having the energy to walk up 8 steps to get to my kitchen
having pain in my right side from my surgery
coughing
having to pretend I'm strong so people don't worry about me when I truly am not these days
feeling anxiety
worrying about having another pnuemothorax
waiting for day five to get here since that is when I had my second pnuemothorax
after day 5, then worrying if it is going to happen any time after that.
worrying about dying
the Navy not letting my husband be with his family
having to rely on everyone to do everything for me
not being able to cook
not being able to sleep in my bed because there's to many steps to get to it
not be able to take a shower in a bathtub because again there is to many steps to get to the bathroom.
doctors and visits
being handicapped
having people worry about me
having this "woe me" feelings
not being able to go to work
not being able to enjoy San Diego
not being about to run around and play with Dominic
not being able to enjoy a walk without having to stop to catch my breath
school or actually just this last class
worrying about money
Rams losing
To sum it all up I'm just sick of the "me" that I have become these few days and realize that I need to keep my chin up high and get over it and move forward. As my mom told me yesterday "Learn to live in the now." As hard as that is to do I really need to try and focus on that and just have patience with myself and my recovery