I got a sign

I’m not as religious as I should be. I mean I believe in God of course but I don’t go to church very often. I do however pray about 3 times a day and try my hardest to live my life the way I believe God would want me to. I screw up a lot by saying bad words or by sometimes wishing bad things on people who have done terrible things to me in the past (only one person so you can relax it isn’t anyone that would be reading this), and by speeding, yelling sometimes at my family, lying sometimes to people because it’ll save an argument or a overrated debate or conversation, and turning to food or alcohol as a stress reliever; you know all the things that we are all guilty of once in awhile. But beyond all that I do think that God is on my side and thinks I’m an alright person. If he didn’t like me he would of took my life a year ago, when I almost died the second time I collapsed my lung. It would have been easy just to take me then. But he didn’t and because of that I believe he likes me, flaws and all.

Anyhow, I’ve been asking him several times a day to give me an answer or a sign about what I should do regarding my upcoming treatment. Do I go through another round of chemo or do I just live like I have been lately medicine free and just hope that the deterioration goes slowly and I’m able to enjoy a few more year with my husband and son. I’ve got numerous emails from everyone regarding my last visit to UCSD and most everyone said that they would pray for me but that God has a plan for all of us and he will give me the answer. Well I think I got my sign.

The other day I was at work and I became more winded than normal. It could have been my allergies or someone’s perfume or dust. Who knows with me, some days are just worse than others. So for the first time I had to wear my oxygen while at work. A lot of people haven’t seen or knew I wore oxygen because I don’t use it at work. So I got the stares and all the questions but like I said I don’t care anymore if people ask me because I feel that I need to educate as many people as I can on this disease because it is so rare and not many people know or have even heard about it. So after a few people talk to me here comes the school psychologist Morgan Rose. I really like her, she seems very down to earth and easy to talk to but when she came up to me I became very defensive at first. Probably because I had just had that terrible experience with Dr. Yung that I was just like “Oh here she comes, she is going to want to observe me and talk to me and ask me questions on how I handle this and what not.” Instead she said “I want to give you a number to this Tibetan doctor that has his own healing center but also works hand and hand with UCSB the other medical branch of UCSD.” Then she went on to explain that she had breast cancer and that the first time she went throw traditional medicine, you know radiation and chemotherapy. It went into remission for a few years but then it came back. At this time a friend of hers gave her the number to this Tibetan doctor. She decided to go with this type of treatment with being overseen by western medical doctors and 7 years later (I believe she said) she is cancer free still. She only used herbs and natural medicine and didn’t go through the toxins that chemo has. At first I was in shock that it actually worked for her but then I was hesitant to even look into it because there is so much controversy on natural medicines and most doctors will talk it down. But then again I was like “What do I have to lose by simply talking to him.”

After work I went home, checked the website, sent it to my mom, dad, and Michael for there input and all of them agreed “What do I have to lose.” Michael even talked to one of the internal medical doctors at work and he agreed that I should go and check it out because there so much about the human body that we don’t know about and maybe an alternate medicine will give us some answers or even a cure.

So I called and made an appointment because I feel if I don’t go and at least hear what he has to say I will kick myself in the ass later because I’ll always wonder “what if”. Plus doing the research on him, I really like the fact that he also works with legit hospitals not just some back alley clinic.

So back to my sign from God. I really think that this is his sign, which Morgan (the psychologist) and I were at the right place at the right time. One, she would of never known I was sick if she hadn’t seen me with my oxygen on. She even said that to me. Also what was strange that day other than me wearing my oxygen when normally I don’t is that she was at our school on a day she wasn’t scheduled to work. HUMMMMMM!!!! So I was winded, wore my O2, and she was there on her off day and she just happened to walk by at a time that I had my oxygen on. All signs to me, I think. For some reason I think this is the sign I’ve been asking God for. Maybe its not and I’m looking more into it that I should be but I just find it rather weird that everything that happened that day normally wouldn’t. It’s a sign, it has to be.

So I go Oct. 6th for my first visit and I’m actually really excited to talk to him. Maybe he will tell me there is nothing that he can do for me at this point. Who knows? I just feel that this was a sign and that I need to at least see him once and see what he has to offer before I start another round of terrible side effects with chemo. and those terrible pills called prednisone, that screw up your liver, cause weight gain and give you a “moon face”. I will still get my echo cardiogram done like Dr. Yung asked for but I will hold off on any medicine until I speak to the Tibetan doctor. I’ll keep you updated and tell you all about my visit to him once I have it. Oh here’s the link to his clinic. Also Morgan’s testimonial is on there as well. Click on services, testimonials and then “2nd time breast cancer patient shares her healing journey”.

http://www.tibetanacademy.org/


Always,
Carmen