1/6/06
Friday, January 06, 2006
Miners last words
I am so glad that they were able to write this before they passed. Some people have given me grief over my blog, some have supported me and others don't mention it at all. I guess evaluating my reasons on why do a blog it's simply the same reason why these miners wrote this letter. When anyone has a near death experience such as I did twice. More so the second time from what I hear from the nurses and doctors, you change. It may be for the worse or better I guess it all depends. I think if I was to get shot, I would be angry and want revenge and so I would look at life as a evil place to live and take it out on others. But I think when you face death for a reason like I did; a collasped lung, or anyone with cancer or a heart attack and then they survive they probably first count their blessings. Maybe then you will doubt God, like I did. I wondered "Why me, What did I do so wrong to let me have a disease that is incurable, why are you trying to take me from my family and friends at such a young age." But once you realize that know matter what happens God has a plan for you. You may not agree at times but things do happen for a reason and I don't think God has it "out for me" or anything crazy like that, I believe now he knew I'd be strong enough to handle the punches and move forward. So once you go through these stages and I can only speak of my experience you then really want to make sure you leave your "soul print" or "foot print" if you will to everyone you've come across in your life. Yes I could sit down and write every single person I've ever met in my life a letter and tell them how they touched my life. But "What if" I don't get to the last names in my address books that are at the end of my book. What if I can't get past the Picards, or Palmers in my address book and never get to tell the Simons, Rosado's. Sylvia's, Renn's,Wimmers, White's, Walton's, Yarbarough's or Zabattas how I feel about them and thank them for being in my life? What if God decides to take me before I get to everyone in my email address book or my old fashion written address book? Then none of these people would know how I felt yesterday, today, or tomorrow about life or myself and about them.I scrap book so Mike, Dominic and who ever will have photos and memories of the events that take place in our lives at that time; but honestly you can only take so many pictures. I didn't want a camera in the hospital with a chest tube sticking out of one side and IV's attached to my shoulder because I have such bad veins, or with my bruises all over my arms from trying to draw blood from me or from giving me that terribly painful shots that they gave me twice a day so I wouldn't have blood clots. But they are still memories; very vivid memories that have made me who I am today.So I write this blog and try my hardest to keep up with it everyday, not to piss anyone off by my opinions or ideas or language but to be able to say I left people, the people that I have come across in my life with something. Something so they can see how I was feeling on this day or what made me laugh that day, or who made me cry on the other day. I write it because I get shy (yes me) when I want to tell someone I love them, or miss them or that I look up to them or that they have changed my life by being in it. And I have debated going from a blog to a private journal but have decided that having a public journal gets my word out to the people that I talk to today or have lost touch with over the years. It gives everyone a chance to read my last words before my times up.This isn't a entry of saying good bye to anyone because I still plan on being around for many years but just In case. In case, I get in a car accident, struck by lighting, have a heart attack, or collaspe a lung again and don't make it, or even more fun laughing myself to death (which I swore I was going to do at times). Because no one ever knows when their time is up. NO ONE!!!Mood: Happy I got to see the miners last words. It was truly inspiring.I'm feeling: again really good, I went to the gym and took Cay for a short walk.Quote:"The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important."Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Miners last words
I am so glad that they were able to write this before they passed. Some people have given me grief over my blog, some have supported me and others don't mention it at all. I guess evaluating my reasons on why do a blog it's simply the same reason why these miners wrote this letter. When anyone has a near death experience such as I did twice. More so the second time from what I hear from the nurses and doctors, you change. It may be for the worse or better I guess it all depends. I think if I was to get shot, I would be angry and want revenge and so I would look at life as a evil place to live and take it out on others. But I think when you face death for a reason like I did; a collasped lung, or anyone with cancer or a heart attack and then they survive they probably first count their blessings. Maybe then you will doubt God, like I did. I wondered "Why me, What did I do so wrong to let me have a disease that is incurable, why are you trying to take me from my family and friends at such a young age." But once you realize that know matter what happens God has a plan for you. You may not agree at times but things do happen for a reason and I don't think God has it "out for me" or anything crazy like that, I believe now he knew I'd be strong enough to handle the punches and move forward. So once you go through these stages and I can only speak of my experience you then really want to make sure you leave your "soul print" or "foot print" if you will to everyone you've come across in your life. Yes I could sit down and write every single person I've ever met in my life a letter and tell them how they touched my life. But "What if" I don't get to the last names in my address books that are at the end of my book. What if I can't get past the Picards, or Palmers in my address book and never get to tell the Simons, Rosado's. Sylvia's, Renn's,Wimmers, White's, Walton's, Yarbarough's or Zabattas how I feel about them and thank them for being in my life? What if God decides to take me before I get to everyone in my email address book or my old fashion written address book? Then none of these people would know how I felt yesterday, today, or tomorrow about life or myself and about them.I scrap book so Mike, Dominic and who ever will have photos and memories of the events that take place in our lives at that time; but honestly you can only take so many pictures. I didn't want a camera in the hospital with a chest tube sticking out of one side and IV's attached to my shoulder because I have such bad veins, or with my bruises all over my arms from trying to draw blood from me or from giving me that terribly painful shots that they gave me twice a day so I wouldn't have blood clots. But they are still memories; very vivid memories that have made me who I am today.So I write this blog and try my hardest to keep up with it everyday, not to piss anyone off by my opinions or ideas or language but to be able to say I left people, the people that I have come across in my life with something. Something so they can see how I was feeling on this day or what made me laugh that day, or who made me cry on the other day. I write it because I get shy (yes me) when I want to tell someone I love them, or miss them or that I look up to them or that they have changed my life by being in it. And I have debated going from a blog to a private journal but have decided that having a public journal gets my word out to the people that I talk to today or have lost touch with over the years. It gives everyone a chance to read my last words before my times up.This isn't a entry of saying good bye to anyone because I still plan on being around for many years but just In case. In case, I get in a car accident, struck by lighting, have a heart attack, or collaspe a lung again and don't make it, or even more fun laughing myself to death (which I swore I was going to do at times). Because no one ever knows when their time is up. NO ONE!!!Mood: Happy I got to see the miners last words. It was truly inspiring.I'm feeling: again really good, I went to the gym and took Cay for a short walk.Quote:"The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important."Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
posted by Carmen San Diego @ 12:47 PM
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