3/15/06
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
One wish
If: If I could have one wish, I'd wish that life wasn't a challenge anymore. I'd wish to be able to breathe normal again, like in Key West or even Groton. I'd wish to not have such a hard time walking up stairs, or getting winded moving from one place to another. I'd will to be able to walk without any trouble. Everything I do these days is a challenge and I'm so sick of it. I take baths mostly now because standing for a long time I get tired. When I get ready in the morning I do everything sitting down because I get winded. I hate cleaning because its so hard for me, yet that used to be what I loved doing to kill time. I hate stairs. All stairs and/or inclines are like climbing a mountain. Only time I feel great is if I'm sitting but that is not my personality so I get bored then move around and then get winded again. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like this. Everything I do is a struggle these days, and things have to be cancelled because "I'm winded". I hate having Mike and Dominic have to suffer through my life, my disease. I feel bad that they are dealing with my disease. I just wish rather I'd get a new lung or die, but this being winded doing normal daily things is for the birds. I'm over it. I just wish to be able to breathe. Sometimes I feel that I'm dying a slow painful death. This IS probably what I am doing but I don't want to; not yet I'm only 32. I have a whole life ahead of me. My time can't be up yet. I want to see Dominic grow up and become a man or atleast a teen. But I don't want to do it like this. You're only given one life but this isn't the life I had visioned for myself. Please God let me breathe. I'm sick of coughing, and trying to catch my breath. I don't want to be like this anymore.Please let me breathe! Find a cure or give me some sort of medicine that will help me live a better, more normal life. PLEASE!!!!!
posted by carmen @ 8:14 AM
One wish
If: If I could have one wish, I'd wish that life wasn't a challenge anymore. I'd wish to be able to breathe normal again, like in Key West or even Groton. I'd wish to not have such a hard time walking up stairs, or getting winded moving from one place to another. I'd will to be able to walk without any trouble. Everything I do these days is a challenge and I'm so sick of it. I take baths mostly now because standing for a long time I get tired. When I get ready in the morning I do everything sitting down because I get winded. I hate cleaning because its so hard for me, yet that used to be what I loved doing to kill time. I hate stairs. All stairs and/or inclines are like climbing a mountain. Only time I feel great is if I'm sitting but that is not my personality so I get bored then move around and then get winded again. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like this. Everything I do is a struggle these days, and things have to be cancelled because "I'm winded". I hate having Mike and Dominic have to suffer through my life, my disease. I feel bad that they are dealing with my disease. I just wish rather I'd get a new lung or die, but this being winded doing normal daily things is for the birds. I'm over it. I just wish to be able to breathe. Sometimes I feel that I'm dying a slow painful death. This IS probably what I am doing but I don't want to; not yet I'm only 32. I have a whole life ahead of me. My time can't be up yet. I want to see Dominic grow up and become a man or atleast a teen. But I don't want to do it like this. You're only given one life but this isn't the life I had visioned for myself. Please God let me breathe. I'm sick of coughing, and trying to catch my breath. I don't want to be like this anymore.Please let me breathe! Find a cure or give me some sort of medicine that will help me live a better, more normal life. PLEASE!!!!!
posted by carmen @ 8:14 AM
posted by Carmen San Diego @ 12:54 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home