Doctor Visit

So I got to see Dr. Shah my pulmonigist today. It's been a very long time and the first thing he said to me was "Wow you lost a lot of weight, you look great." Then gave me a big hug. He's really a nice doctor. We caught up on our family lives; he asked me about Mike and Dominic and I asked him about his wife and 5 children. He's a very proud daddy and told me his 2 year old is sick and his baby girl is 8 months and is crawling like 100 mph. Dr. Shah always makes the appointments seem so at ease. It's not as soothing as visiting Dr. Lobsong (the doctor from Tibet) because you are still surrounded by florescent lights and paper sheets to sit on. However its his personality that makes it inviting and he's always so positive about everything. So then the magic question comes up. "So, how are you feeling?" I always hate this because if I say I'm fine, he'll say great and send me on my way but I still feel the aches and pains and windiness and if I tell the truth then he'll want to run a bunch of test. So what do I do? I actually tell him the truth because my aches and pains are a little worrisome and so I want to make sure there's nothing more too my Scleroderma than the usual. I tell him about my fingers hurting at the tips especially both my middle fingers, I tell him about my wrist, ankles, knees, and elbows hurting as well. I tell him about my left elbow swelling up and that my chest continues to burn when I cough. He's used to the coughing ordeal because I've been complaining about that for years but he's concerned about my joints aching, something I've not complained about in the past. So as usual he sends me to the lab too get not one or two tubes thingy of blood drawn but 7. He wants too make sure I don't have Lupus, or rheumatoid arthritis . Both I know (pretty sure at least) that I don't have but he wants to cover everything. He also told me too lay off the Mortin and take more Vicodin in fear that I may mess up my Kidney's since in the past my Kidney's have acted up on certain medicines. I find that weird but hey he's the doctor, I just don't want to end up getting addicted to pain meds. since I know I already have a very addictive personality. (Trust me this is why we don't go to the casino as often).

So in general he gave me bottles of Vicodin, Motrin, Valium (my my anxiety attacks I get once in awhile), and my Singular. Told me I tested positive for Carpal Tunnel and to come back in a week for the results regarding the blood work. That about sums it up. Nothing too big and exciting too share with anyone unless my labs come back messed up but I seriously doubt that they will. The only thing he was a bit concerned about and so was I is that if nothing comes back positive then my Scleroderma is to blame which means that now I have to worry about both my external and internal parts. Usually with Scleroderma you get one or the other and rarely both, but since I'm so unique I may be one of those who end up getting both. Now that wouldn't surprise me because when I first got diagnosed with Scleroderma it was because I was getting sores on my hands (fingers) and didn't really have a breathing problem; but as soon as I started complaining about my breathing the sores stopped on my hands. So I'm figuring I'm going to be one of those rare individuals that get both the skin and organ problems. I'm going to think positive though and just wait and see what the labs. have to say.

Oh wait I do need to vent a bit I can't believe I forgot this. So I go to the pharmacy to get my pills and the teller looks at me with my Oxygen and says "You're too young too be supporting on Oxygen." Hello!! Lady!! Do you really think I chose this for myself? I wanted to rip her eyes out; but I didn't instead I say "Yeah, that's what I think too." I give her my best fake smile and try to give her my prescriptions but she doesn't stop there, she then goes "So, what do you have?" I tell her I have an autoimmune disease that has caused severe lung damage, I don't say Scleroderma because usually people look at me like I have two heads when I say that word. I'm trying too be nice but my tank is almost dry, I am in fear I'm going to run out of oxygen trying too get my pills and so I push my prescriptions closer to her before I have an axiety attack. She continues "Well why don't you just get a lung transplant." JUST!!! Man I hate that word at times. So I tell her in another fake smile "I can't JUST go out and get a lung transplant. You have too be on a list, and from there JUST because you get on the list doesn't mean I'll get a lung the next day. and JUST because I get a transplant doesn't mean it's going to be a miracle. People reject the organs at times and it doesn't mean I will live forever. With a transplant you are dealt a whole different set of obstacles that might not be so easy to deal with either." She looks at me like I'm an idiot, tells me her friend got a kidney through a transplant and is doing great. I just smile at her and tell her I'm happy for her friend and explain to her I'm in a hurry and need to get going before my oxygen runs out before I get back to my car. Man I hate people like that. I mean does she really think I want to be on oxygen? That I picked this life for me and my family to live? I JUST want to kill people who say things like that. The longer I live on this O2 the more bitter I become, it seems because people seem to be braver too come up to me and tell me how young I am and how I shouldn't be on oxygen. Well no shit Sherlock. OK I vented and feel much better now. Thanks!!!

Have a great weekend,
Carmen San Diego

3 things I'm happy for:

1. A doctor that makes your visit comfortable.
2. The book I'm reading "The Nanny Diaries" its an older book but I've never read it and its pretty good so far.
3. Having an enjoyable lunch with my husband, at Chili's.