Saw the Tibet doctor today
So I went too see the doctor from Tibet today. He said he can really see the weight loss in me and that my color looks better. I thanked him for the compliments but told him I didn't feel any difference in my breathing. I also told him I was having more headaches and cramps in my joints. He felt my pulse points for a long time and finally told me to stick to the diet but too quit the pills (herbs) for a month and then to call him and tell him how I feel after a month with no herbs. Maybe he thought that I was allergic to one of the plants that are in the herbs and that is why I wasn't feeling any better and/or feeling worse. The diet part he told me I was the most important part of the plan that he has put me on.
So, I'm sort of at a lost as to what my next plan is. I mean I'm still waiting for labs results but once those come in; what's next? I just don't see myself getting any better and so where do I go from there? I guess I can go and talk to Dr. Yung again the transplant doctor but he's just going to tell me that I'm still "to healthy" to get on the list. Maybe he wont who knows but I just seem to keep getting pushed around from doctor to doctor. I wish or hope that they find some other sort of medicine for me to try, but at this point I have tried everything so I'm just sort of stuck here, waiting. That's the hard part. The more I wait the more I think and then the more I think I more I drive myself insane with the what ifs of my so called life. It sucks. This whole disease sucks and it makes life suck.
But I stay positive for the sake of my family and I guess myself but it sure is hard at times. I mean I've been thrown a lot of curve balls and feel like I can only strike out so many times before I get kicked off the team.
Until I can think of something else to write,
Carmen
3 things I am happy for:
So, I'm sort of at a lost as to what my next plan is. I mean I'm still waiting for labs results but once those come in; what's next? I just don't see myself getting any better and so where do I go from there? I guess I can go and talk to Dr. Yung again the transplant doctor but he's just going to tell me that I'm still "to healthy" to get on the list. Maybe he wont who knows but I just seem to keep getting pushed around from doctor to doctor. I wish or hope that they find some other sort of medicine for me to try, but at this point I have tried everything so I'm just sort of stuck here, waiting. That's the hard part. The more I wait the more I think and then the more I think I more I drive myself insane with the what ifs of my so called life. It sucks. This whole disease sucks and it makes life suck.
But I stay positive for the sake of my family and I guess myself but it sure is hard at times. I mean I've been thrown a lot of curve balls and feel like I can only strike out so many times before I get kicked off the team.
Until I can think of something else to write,
Carmen
3 things I am happy for:
- Dominic making me tea. He's so good at it.
- Afternoons when I don't feel winded
- American Idol because it proves that there are worse singers out there than me.
posted by Carmen San Diego @ 4:57 PM
1 Comments:
At 9:31 AM,
tcramer said…
Carmen,
Try not to see this as waiting. This is ... this is ... a regrouping time. Your body has been attacked by this horrendous alien force. It was stronger than you'd expected so you've suffered some setbacks. But now you've got it into a stand-off while you regroup. You've received enough intelligence about this enemy you know it's tricks and what next it can do. But it doesn't know your strength. And you are building that during this time. Don't give in and wait for it's next assault. You've been very aggressive recently in looking for new weapons. Keep at that and build your armory. Get tough with the doctors. You're the Commander in Chief and they're your generals... no, they're your Cabinet, your Chiefs of Staff. They advise you, but ultimately, you are the Decision-Maker. Investigate "The List." Are there different levels of priority?
Stay strong. You are so valuable to this World. Remember the lesson of "It's a Wonderful Life." You never know how many lives you are affecting and making a difference among.
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} Tamera
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