Good Times and Boxed Whine

Friday, June 22, 2007

Chris D.

Chris Drennon

  • First time I met you was our "Get to know the family" BBQ we had one at our house in New London. I thought you were actually quiet and really country (all because of the accent).
  • Meeting you and Michelle at Chuck E Cheese and having dinner there so the kids could take all our money and have us leave that place broke and with a headache and quickly in a need for some alcohol.
  • Rhodes Island trip to Providence Mall (if my memory was right you and Michelle and the kids were there but maybe I'm wrong on this one).
  • Numerous evenings at our house just hanging out. Maybe watching football or nascar (nascrap) or simply just swinging by on your way to the mini-mart to say hi or to keep Michael company.
  • Trick or treating with the kids.
  • Numerous stories of you from when you all were in school together, dog balls, to greasy head to God knows what. When there was a funny story, usually your name came up.
  • Getting in trouble for Michelle's license plate during 9-11.
  • Being our "White Chris Rock".
  • Checking up on me when Mike was on deployment. I should of got you to mow the lawn but it was still nice for you to make sure Dominic and I were OK.
  • To answering my questions on cytoxen, prednisone or any other drug they put me on when Mike wasn't there to answer the questions. Plus, I don't think he'd been as patient. You say you don't have much sympathy for people but I think you have a lot of patience when I'd ask you over and over about my chemo drugs. And/or call you to check my blood work results.
  • Watching Caya when we went on trips.
  • Babysitting Dominic when we wanted to go out alone.
  • Being my partner in John/Cheryl's wedding. Not sure you had a choice but I'm glad I walked with you since I wasn't able to walk with my hubby.
  • Getting you in trouble for saying "Right back at you babe." Still am sorry for that by the way.
  • Not being able to funnel and letting them seawolf guys torture you into trying to do it and making you practice with water until you got it right. Man that was a crazy night.
  • Still to this day when you call looking for Mike always making me laugh with your crazy stories of parenthood and work.
  • Being a great friend to me but especially to Mike. You help him escape his daily stress that he deals with me and forget even if it's for just for those few moments that he has to deal with a wife that has such a terrible disease.

3 things I'm happy for:

  1. Good memories
  2. good friends
  3. good times

Great message for people like me who have a hard time forgiving.


One of my teachers had each one of us bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes. For every person we'd refuse to forgive in our life,we were told to choose a potato, write on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag.

Some of our bags, as you can imagine, were quite heavy.We were then told to carry this bag with us everywhere for one week,putting it beside our bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to our desk at work.The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear what a weight we were carrying spiritually, and how we had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget, and keep leaving it in embarrassing places.

Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty slime. This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity! Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and while that's true, it clearly is also a gift for ourselves! So the next time you decide you can't forgive someone, ask yourself...Isn't MY bag heavy enough?And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him , so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

- Mark11:25-- Author Unknown

3 Things I'm Happy for:
  1. Having a great time with the ladies on ladies night out (in). It was a great mix of people and it was so much fun getting together after hours and enjoying each others company.
  2. Still feeling pretty darn "OK" on this new medicine. Haven't' got the results back from my blood but if it is as good as how I feel then I'm pretty sure I can tolerate this medicine and get on with the rest of the process to get me on the transplant list.
  3. 3 days in a row doing my 10 minutes work outs. Don't think at this moment I can move up to 15 or 2o minutes; but heck it's only been 3 days.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Summer Vacation

104 and 10% humidity in Las Vegas. Lord help our summer trip. Luckily we have a pool to relax by and a few different things for us to do in doors. That heat is rather going to kill us or burn us into a nice crispy potato chip. Nah, it shouldn't be too bad. I hope. We'll make the best of it and lucky for me there's AC and the slot machines are in doors. LOL!! Got to run and finish the laundry. I have 2 days to figure out what to bring other than my bathing suit.

Until later,

3 things I'm happy for:
  1. Summer is here and I get to "try" and sleep in. I say try because it hasn't worked yet nor has the getting sleep with out waking up. I'm trying to wean myself from Ambien but it isn't working to well. I have all summer to nap during the day to get the sleep I need.
  2. The sun when if first hits your skin and it still feels good with out being too overwhelmingly hot.
  3. Movies because summer TV really does suck!!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Schools out for Summer!!!!!!!!

Today is my last of work. It's sort of bitter sweet. I'm looking forward to sleeping in and saving money/gas/mileage on my car, but I also fear not getting myself up everyday and "having" to be somewhere that my health will decline once again. So I am going to try, try and try some more to really stay motivated and keep myself busy, as well as Dominic. So my summer goals are:

  1. To do those 10 minutes work outs I found on Free Zone everyday and if I go to the pool I'll do various exercises there as well. Like leg lifts, and bicycling. I know 10 minutes doesn't sound like crap to most of you, but coming from a person who hasn't exercised in probably a year this is a lot. Plus cut me some slack, I'm on oxygen and on immunesuppressent drugs. I hope to do this everyday, but if I can only do it 3 days a week, I'm not going to beat myself up. Something is better than nothing.
  2. Make sure Dominic reads at least 30 minutes a day. As much as he HATES to read, I need to make sure he keeps up with it over the summer so he doesn't drop any further in his reading skills.
  3. Catch my scrap books up.
  4. Get my legs to match the same shade of brown as my arms.
  5. keep the house tidy and do laundry more often.
  6. Last have as much fun as I can!!!

I watched the movie/documentary called "A shot in the dark" I watched it by myself, it's nothing really Mike or Dominic would be interested in but I enjoyed it and it opened my eyes a little more to my life and the way I try to put my puzzle of life together. It sort of dragged in some areas but shit life can drag at times as well.

Happy Summer,


3 things I'm Happy about:

  1. Last day of work.
  2. Dominic's getting all B's and 1 C on his report card.
  3. Feeling pretty good lately on my medication. Hopefully my blood work and urine will say the same thing.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

A woman should have

enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry...

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

a feeling of control over her destiny...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

when to try harder...


that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

that her childhood may not have been perfect..
but it's over...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

how to live alone ..
even if she doesn't like it...

whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

3 Things I'm happy for today:
  1. Wearing shorts to work and NOT feeling self conscious
  2. Keeping my weight down and now being a size 8 in women's and 9 in juniors.
  3. Having 4 days of feeling good.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Morning Blessing

From my favorite Rev.; Rev. Run (from Run DMC and the new reality show Run's House)

Good morning. Take responsibility for your life, NEVER blame unjust circumstances or restrictive authorities. Doing this empowers you to make decisions that will benefit you in the long run! Patience, humility, and the willingness to eliminate what isn't really working will always free you up! (Always Remember) Ups and downs, expansions and contractions will be a part of any life! Make your life count! Be strong... NEVER allow yourself to lose hope about your future! :)
God is Love
Rev Run

3 things I'm Thankful for today:
  1. A good nights sleep.
  2. Waking up to birds not Dogs barking.
  3. Having a job to go to still. All though I am looking forward to summer I fear I may get bored and start the "woe me" feelings again.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Paris Hilton, Cry me a River.

I am really getting tired of hearing about her and her jail time. I mean really. When is it going to end. The media would rather cover this than actual news like our Military men and women in war. It's crazy. People probably know more about her and what is the latest on her 45 day sentence than what is actually going on in their city. This saddens me. It just goes to show that if you have money you can get away with a lot. If I was to get 2 DUI's and violate my probation they would throw my ass in jail regardless of my "medical condition". I am sure there are many people in jail right now that have a "medical condition" that are getting the royal treatment that she is getting. Really the girl just needs to do her time and get over herself. Maybe she'll actually learn a lesson from all this but truthfully I don't think she will. I just hope all those M.A.D.D. and other groups like that rally around the jail and make their voices heard that just because your parents are millionaires doesn't mean you can get out of jail.

Lighter note, this is the first time since on the new medicines that I haven't woke up too nauseous after taking my antibiotic. Not sure if I should jump up in down just in case that triggers me to get sick or just count my blessing for this morning (well afternoon). I think I'll just count my blessings and enjoy it while it last.

I also decided that I'm not writing letters to people any more about what they mean to me. All my friends and family suck so I say "Screw them".... gotcha. No it started to become too emotional and I didn't like the letters that I was getting back from people because they'd make me cry. So instead I'm just going to write them like a tribute. Remind them of all the great times and memories I had of them and maybe even post them here so people can see all the fun memories I've had with them and are still having. I don't want it to look or feel like I'm dying. I mean I am dying (we all are) but I want to enjoy the now and not feel like I'm sending a good-bye letter to everyone. So if you got a letter from me already consider yourself lucky and if you haven't yet, relax I'm still working on them. I'm going in alphabetical order by first name so chill. One can only write so many letters/ tributes in a week. I'll be writing more once I'm home for the summer. Sorry Yvonne you are are the last person in my email and probably wont get yours until like Christmas but you already know how much you mean to me.

Well I'm signing off and am going to enjoy this good feeling while I can.

Until I can think of something else to write,
Carmen San Diego

3 Things I'm Happy for:
  1. Feeling good.
  2. The movie Bobby, it was pretty good and I learned a little more about my history.
  3. My new car. Did I mention I got a new car? It's great. I love it.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Milk Glass Moon.

I'm reading a book Called "Milk Glass Moon" by Adriana Trigiani and recently she wrote some stuff that hit home. I'm only about half way through the book but it's a really good easy reading book if you are interested. These few things I'm writing are a little deep but they hit home and so I wanted to write them here in my blog. The book isn't really this deep just this chapter in the book, where she just found at one of her friends has breast cancer and later on in the chapter she is talking to her daughter about her mom who passed of breast cancer before her (daughter) was born. Again, it sounds so sad and hard to read but really it isn't like that at all. It's very easy reading actually a great story of a woman trying to redirect her life and her journey on how to parent her preteen daughter who goes through all the rebellious stages teens go through.

"I just wish you didn't have to go through this at all."
"Honey, that ain't on the list of options. There's so much I want to do with my life. I'm not gonna let this get me down. I got plans. I think of all the places in this world that I want to see, and how happy I'll be when I get there. I've never looked at my life like it would end. But now I have proof that the clock is ticking. And by God, I'm not leavin' until I've seen and done everything I've always wanted to do."

"But I could sort of understand when my mother passed away; she was sick a long time, and toward the end I begged God to take her. She was so thin, and she was in a lot of pain. They a;ways tell you that they can give you something for the pain., but they really can't. I don't think it's just physical pain either,it's the sadness at leaving the world and the people you love."

3 Things I'm happy for:
  1. A great book to keep me company when there is nothing to watch during the summer time.
  2. A quiet house and all you hear are the trees and birds outside and my dog snoring on her bed.
  3. The long summer evenings we are starting to get.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

message from God

From: GOD

To: All those who believe in me

Date: Today and Everyday

Subject: Life's problems

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help. If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD (something for Jesus to do) box. It will be addressed in MY TIME,not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold on to it or remove it.Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your problem. If it is a situation that you think you are capable of handling, please consult me in prayer to be sure that it is the proper resolution.Because I do not sleep nor do I slumber, there is no need for you to lose any sleep. Rest my child. If you need to contact me, I am only a prayer away.As with all good things, pass it on-- Author Unknown

3 Things I'm Thankful for:
  1. God because when I feel I can't go any further he picks me up and keeps me going.
  2. The movies, because it makes family time enjoyable for us when I am so limited. We went and say Pirates 3. Good Flick but I still like #1 the best.
  3. Children's laughter. I hear Dominic and his friend up stairs laughing and it's a great sound to remember when you were young and carefree.